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There's Something About Hazleton -- Updated May 10, 2001

About the Hazleton Page

Main Entry: sat·ire
Function: noun
Date: 1501
1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn

Naturally, this site is meant as somewhat of a joke. I still can't figure out how some people get so upset that they send nasty, incoherent letters. Most of the mail I receive either politely defends the region or appreciate the site for what it's supposed to be: an amusing look at our strange little town. This site is not intended to be insulting or degrading to the region or its residents. I grew up there, and I still have many family members and friends living in Hazleton. My personal feelings about Hazleton could be summed up rather easily: I don't hate it, but I'm not going back there to live out my years. Again, that's not a slight against Hazleton itself, but come on, it's a big world out there. I just want to see it.

This site started sometime in 1995, complete with my "Application to Live in Hazleton", which is still floating around the internet as a chain letter four years after I wrote it. Oddly enough, I receive the application every year or so from a friend. I tried to add some useful links about Hazleton businesses, demographics, etc. to mix in with the "How to apply car tinting" and "Skid Row Fan Club" links. A few of you have asked, and no, I didn't write all of the "You're from Hazleton if..." list. I added a few here and there, but that's all I can take credit for.

I expected the site would continue to improve, but finding Web sites about Hazleton is much more difficult than I could have possibly expected. Search for "Hazleton Pennsylvania" on a major search engine, and you'll see what I mean. In a usual search for Hazleton content, I'll use approximately 5% of the links which are churned out of the search engine. Not exactly an efficient process, which is why I need help from the people who visit this page.

I receive (and encourage, for that matter) plenty of e-mail at Most of the letters are short and simple, either complimenting or criticizing my work here. Some people have made requests for information about lost friends or relatives from Hazleton, where to look for an apartment, the name of a certain cemetery, and so on. As much as I would love to find the answers to all of your questions, please understand a few things before asking who the teacher was in Room 124 at D.A. Harman in 1973. First, I'm not living in Hazleton right now, so even if I wanted to do a little research, I can't do it from Pittsburgh. Second, I'm only 25 years old, so I'm not going to remember your old homeroom teacher from Freeland. Certainly, I don't mean to belittle some of the questions I've been asked, but just remember that I have virtually no chance of finding what you're looking for.

Thanks to the people who stop by to see what this page is all about, and as I wrote earlier, you're more than encouraged to write me at Also, please check out the news page to see what changes I've made around here lately. Until next time, tell a friend or two about the site, and thanks for stopping by.

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